Why You Wascally Wabbit!

By Keith McDowell

Elmer Fudd never was fooled by Bugs Bunny’s double talk. It just seemed that way to folks not paying attention. And that brings to mind Mitt Romney and his comments about not being responsible for the 47% of Americans “who believe they are victims” – oops, he meant to say he favors small government! As Foghorn Leghorn would say, “that boy’s as sharp as a bowling ball.”

Now some of you will have a cow at this old cowboy from Texas poking fun at a presidential candidate, but I say to you: “eat more chikin!” I didn’t pick this dawg to run for president. Or as Foghorn famously said, “That dawg is strictly G.I. – gibbering idiot!”

Being an irreverent rascal myself, I’ve always enjoyed a good turn of phrase and the innovation and creativity involved in catchphrases, slogans, and infamous quotes – especially those from the characters in The Looney Tunes Show. Sadly the slices of real life embodied in those old cartoons and their characters are no longer a part of our current culture, having been thrown into the dustbin of history by political correctness and concerns about adolescent violence as a result of watching them. I guess that explains my irreverence.

The evolution of those wacky old cartoons and the good story telling of authors like Mark Twain into boring, predictable sitcoms with their stupid laugh tracks coupled with the socially responsible cartoons on the Cartoon Network just doesn’t work for me – not to mention the emergence of the polar opposite: violent computer games. I get the underlying point and accept that we must continue to move towards a higher level of civilization where responsible behavior is the norm. I have long advocated for just that end result.

But unfortunately, as Mitt Romney and the extreme right wing continue to demonstrate, the real world doesn’t work like most people want it to work. Responsible behavior has been replaced by the calculated lie; by denying the basic facts and discoveries of science, sociology, or economics; by pretending that the rich and successful got to their position in life without the help of others; and by a level of greed and avarice that transcends common sense. Is anyone surprised that a large number of Harvard students recently cheated on a take-home exam?

Viewed through the eyes of an old dog like me, the modern scene seems like an instant replay of those old Looney Tunes cartoons – especially the political drama in the presidential election. At any moment, I expect Romney to blurt out as regards his failure to fully disclose his tax returns: “Don’t you, I say, don’t you call ME a chicken – you chicken!” Even better, he should take Bugs Bunnies advice and take “that left toin at Albaquerque.”

Personally, I think modern society would benefit from a refresher course in Looney Tunes. It’s a great training ground for the real world. But you’re thinking, “Stop right there, varmint. Don’t rush me. I’m a-thinking… and my head hurts.” Well, great horny-toadies! Maybe you’re right and it’s time for me to let those little doggies git along.

And about my admonition for you to “eat more chikin,” just remember what Foghorn Leghorn said, “Ah’m a rooster, son, not a chicken! Pay at-ah say, pay attention, boy! Ah’m talkin’ to ya! Kid doesn’t listen to a word Ah say.”

“And That’s All Folks!”