By Keith
McDowell
Some of us
are easily amused. Take, for example, the identification of the Grand Old Party
with the color red, as in “Red State.” Hasn’t anyone bothered to inform
conservatives – the right wing in particular – that the color “red” was historically associated in the
Twentieth Century with communism –
as in “Red China,” the longstanding demagogic name for Maoist China? How
quickly we forget. But I’ll let
you in on a secret, if you promise not to tell. This branding of the GOP is
actually a left-wing plot foisted on us by the liberal media brandishing a
secret sense of humor. Aw shucks! If only that were really true.
But be
that as it may with respect to one’s “redness,” the year 2012 witnessed the
trumping of a dialogue on innovation per se by the presidential campaign and
the continuing effect of a dysfunctional Congress on the U.S. economy. It was a
year full of political theatre peppered by amusing and sometimes tragic
sidebars. And not to be outdone by others, I close out this year of personal
opining with my own “naughty, but nice” list of quotes and comments about those
events that changed how we think about ourselves as individuals and as a
nation. My list of awards runs the gamut from A to Z.
Awkward
Advice Award:
“Take a shot, go for it, take a risk, get the education, borrow money if you
have to from your parents, start a business.” Mitt Romney, 27 April
Busy
Bee Award:
“I have a job to do. … If you think right now I give a damn about presidential
politics, then you don’t know me.” Gov. Christie, 30 October.
Cheap
Deal Award:
“Buy one, get any two free.” Joseph A. Bank commercial.
Déjà vu
Award: “You
hit a reset button for the fall campaign; everything changes. It’s almost like
an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and we start all over again.”
Eric Fehrnstrom, 21 March.
Entitlement
Envy Award:
“You can look at history of these things, and Social Security wasn’t devised to
be a system that supported you for a 30-year retirement after a 25-year career.
… So there will be things that, you know, the retirement age has to be changed,
maybe some of the benefits have to be affected, maybe some of the inflation
adjustments have to be revised. But in general, entitlements have to be slowed
down and contained.” Lloyd Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs, 19
November.
Freshman
Football Award:
And the winner of the Heisman Trophy is: “Johnny Football” Manziel, quarterback
of the Texas A&M Aggies. My sons, both Aggies, forced me to include this
one. Gig ‘em Aggies.
Golden
Fleece Award: John Boehner and the House GOP on their
budget plan that takes from the 99% and gives to the 1%.
Hapless
House Award:
“I’m just tired of talking about it. I’d rather talk about golf.” Rep. Mack
Mulvaney, South Carolina Republican, 19 December.
Instant
Inspiration Award:
“It’s halftime in America.” Chrysler Super Bowl commercial.
Jumping
Jehoshaphat Award:
“I hope he fails.” Rush Limbaugh on President Obama, January 2009.
King
Karl Award:
“I think this is premature.” Karl Rove’s comment on Fox News calling Ohio for
Obama on Election Night.
Lots of
Love Award:
Mitt Romney’s claims of reviewing “binders full of women” as a governor seeking
to diversify his Massachusetts administration.
Mixed
Message Award:
“Is it the Mitt Romney that was on the side of – against the Second Amendment
before he was for the Second Amendment: Was it – was before – he was before the
social programs from the standpoint of – he was for standing up for Roe v. Wade
before he was against first …” Rick Perry, the gift that keeps on giving.
Not
Again Award:
“Simply scaling back the cliff and extending the political brinksmanship over
the debt ceiling would doom the economy to at best slow growth and possibly
another recession if policymakers take it down to the wire as they did in
summer 2011.” Mark Zandi, Moody Analytics.
Oblivious
Oops Award:
“I would do it again.” Rick Perry commenting on failed presidential campaign,
18 December.
Piddling
Prediction Award:
“If the world doesn’t end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling
there will be a lot of babies born on September 20th, 2013.”
Anonymous
Quotable
Quote Award:
“Is capitalism really about the ability of a handful of rich people to
manipulate the lives of thousands of other people and walk off with the money,
or is that somehow a little bit of a flawed system? … I do draw a distinction
between looting a company, leaving behind broken families and broken
neighborhoods, and leaving behind a factory that should be there.” Newt
Gingrich, 9 January.
Richie
Rich Award:
“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter
what … who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are
victims. … These are people who
pay no income tax. … and so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll
never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for
their lives.” Mitt Romney.
Serial
Sequel Award:
“I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair.” David
Petraeus.
Trust
Me Award:
“I’m an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability.” Jill Kelley, 11
November.
Under
Review Award:
Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell filibustering a vote that he had
called for himself. Instant replay officials confirm the call on the field.
Vox
Vehicular Award:
Lindsay Lohan proves again that driving while sexting is dangerous to one’s
image.
Window
Washing Award:
Tablets shouldn’t bear the Windows name according to Jeffrey Clarke of Dell
Computers who suggested that extending the Windows name to tablets was a bridge
too far. Did Microsoft purposely confuse consumers into believing that Surface
was a PC? Text “A” for yes and” B” for no to Microsoft.
X-Factor
Award:
“The president’s campaign, if you will, focused on giving targeted groups a big
gift. He made a big effort on small things.” Mitt Romney, 14 November.
Y
Chromosome Award:
“We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long
term.” Senator Lindsay Graham, August.
Zany
Zinger Award:
“Under no circumstances am I going to willingly talk to the police in this
country. You can say I’m paranoid about it, but they will kill me, there is no
question.” John McAfee on security.
[The image
of Santa was copied from the Laytonsville
District Volunteer Fire Department.]